Dating is hard, there’s no doubt about that. In fact, for some guys it’s so hard that they’ve given up on the dating world ENTIRELY. Instead, they’ve decided to focus instead on their career, traveling, hobbies, friends, or family. But while all of those things are important, there’s nothing that really replaces having a special woman in your life. So what’s the solution for those guys who have given up on dating, but haven’t lost hope that someday, they’ll figure out how to attract the woman of their dreams?
For some men, the answer has been Vin DiCarlo Pandora’s Box. In a nutshell, Pandora’s Box is a dating system designed to help men understand what is going on in a woman’s minds, and use that information to decide how to approach and interact with her. To do this, it uses principles of female psychology to classify women into a specific type. There are 8 types of women in the Pandora’s Box system, each with their own unique personality and quirks. Once a man is able to figure out what’s going on in their life and in the mind of the women he’s interested in, he’s got a much better shot of actually connecting with that woman.
As with anything in life, there are pros and cons. Knowing the pros and cons of any dating system is important, so that you know if it’s right for you.
* Pandora’s Box seems to actually be based on real psychology that’s taught at universities around the country. Evidently, when Vin started writing the system and seeing the results, he contacted a Harvard psychologist and former editor in chief of psychology magazine. The psychologist verified that the science behind the results was indeed real and accurate.
* It turns “dead” conversations around. I’ve been floundering in a conversation, the girl seems to have no real interest, but then by asking questions and figuring out her type, suddenly I can steer the conversation in a way that she finds interesting. I can talk about the things about myself that she finds interesting. Instead of talking about X, I can switch to Y, even if I haven’t talked about Y in a LOOOONG time. And suddenly her eyes light up and she’s into it. It’s actually sometimes a little eerie how quickly the whole thing turns on a dime.
* Teaches you to “think like a woman.” To get into her head and understand the pressures she has to deal with day-in and day-out. This isn’t a short-term solution. An improved understand and empathy of the realities of being any type of woman in today’s modern world is going to help any guy long term. In his dating life, and even beyond into his married life then to all the women in his life. And not this non-sense pop-psychology or politically correct psychology that’s just flat out wrong. And not just the “evolutionary psychology” that likes to pretend that we’re all still living in Africa and the modern world, TV, magazines, and reality shows have no effect on people in general or woman specifically. Vin’s a genius and somehow has a way of explaining things that gets just under the surface without falsely painting the world into “Woman only like cave-man alpha males! Be an asshole! All the time!”. It’s A LOT more subtle than that and Vin understand subtlety. And trust me, girls love a guy who understands subtlety.
* Real in-depth analysis of each type of woman. I suspect that most guys are going to be interested in 2 or 3 types of woman out of the 8. That reduces the amount you have to memorize by a lot. But since woman can change over time, I think it’s important that you at least have a basic understanding of all the 8 types of women. I would watch the videos over and over again for the type of girls that I wanted at the time. Repetition is something that has helped me to understand these sometimes counter-intuitive concepts. For the types I’m less interested in, I find it’s still important to know about these types because the girl you’re interested in will probably have friends that are other types. And if you can make her friends like you, that helps with getting the girl you really want. It’s really about being more attractive to lots of girls as much as you can so that the girls that you really want can see that you’re “in demand”.
* Unfortunately, the system doesn’t work well for men who don’t have at least some success with attracting women. If you have NO success with women at all, Pandora’s Box is going to be too advanced for you. In that case, you’re going to want to find a more basic system to get started with.
* Pandora’s box contains a lot of material, and you have to go over the material and learn it a little at a time if you want to get the full effect. Also it’s can sometimes hard to remember all the 8 types. The material can also be confusing at first, and the system requires practice. You can’t just immediately go out the first night and point at a girl and say “That’s a Playette!” and “That’s a Seductress.” And early on, you go out and just get it wrong. You think a girl is a Cinderella and then months later you realize she was closer to a Private Dancer. So this isn’t some magic potion that you can implement if you’re not going out and building up your “girl typing” muscles.
Overall, the Pandora’s Box is a system is definitely worth trying. The habit of saying the same stuff to every girl whether she’s looks like a Cheerleader or a Goth Chick is insane. Insight into female psychology and a better understanding of the real lives of different types of women is going to improve our results across the board. Many of us started out not having a clue about what’s really going on in a girls head. If we did, we wouldn’t need dating advice in the first place. And Vin DiCarlo has really pushed the envelope forward, making it clear that the standard MO of almost all guys out there (aka, one type of game for EVERY type of girl) is just nonsense.
Secondly, it’s been recognized by professionals at both Harvard and UCLA. So while I’ve tried it out and it’s turned things around for me while meeting women, it seems like the principles behind it are backed up by actual science and actual proven psychology. Last, there’s a money back guarantee, so if you don’t like it, or it’s too advanced, or it didn’t work for you or whatever, you can get your money back before 14 days elapse. For those two reasons alone, it’s worth taking the system out for a test drive.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this review.
Of the eight types of women, we’ll start with the Playette, because, not only is she one of the most common types men, within the target age range of early-to-mid twenties will encounter, getting to know her is also the most difficult. Many Playettes have developed trusting friendship with other males; however, these friendships are just that—guys who fall into our category we call, “The Friend Zone”. The challenge here is learning how to separate yourself from these guys because The Friend Zone also translates to the “No Sex Zone”. We are of the belief that, to be a true friend with the Playette actually becomes a catalyst for sex, so if this base desire is your ultimate goal, you’ll want to read on for more information about the Playette and seven additional types of women you’re likely to meet in life.
1) The Playette
(Tester – Denier – Idealist)
Personality Profile Overview
The Playette is a combination Tester, Denier and Idealist. She is not easy to recognize because she isn’t obvious about her emotions and tends to be guarded about disclosing much about her personal life. Getting acquainted with a Playette is like seeing your first glacier because, like this massive iceberg, the Playette reveals only a small part of her personality upon first meeting; however, there is much, much more to a Playette than meets the eye! If you should choose to invest the time and effort to get better acquainted and earn her trust, you may discover how much more to the Playette there is—just like the mass of a glacier lives beneath the water’s surface. Befriend a Playette and you’ll uncover an interesting and worthwhile woman of intrigue!
She isn’t shy, however, the Playette never seeks the spotlight. You can tell this by her modest, but fashionable dress, her quiet nature, and her personal observations on life, events and people. The Playette protects herself for good reason. Once she feels comfortable around you and her innate nature tells her you may be trusted, the Playette may relax and let down her walls. When this happens, you will be showered with wonderful gifts that only she can offer.
2) The Social Butterfly
(Tester – Justifier – Idealist)
Personality Profile Overview
We’ve all heard about “the party girl”. She’s the socialite; a pretty, energetic person who talks with everyone–including you–that leaves you wanting more. Was she flirting just with you, or is she just like that with everyone? This is, of course, what every other guy in the room is wondering, too. And, guess what? She knows it!
The Social Butterfly is combination Tester, Justifier and Idealist. Her behavior likens her to her namesake because, like an enticing, lively butterfly, she can be hard to catch unless you know what you are doing.
As with all Testers, you must separate yourself from the countless other guys chasing her. But Social Butterflies are different from Playettes in their Justifier mindset. This means the Social Butterfly embraces a more- aggressive approach on your part, as long as she doesn’t get the feeling that sex with her is merely another trophy for you.
The more casual, fun, pressure-free interaction you can keep going, it is possible the Social Butterfly may light on you, and sex is an almost certain outcome once you are alone. But if she, in any way, senses that she is merely another conquest or notch on your belt, or that you exhibit any sexual neediness, she will take flight immediately.
3) The Hopeful Romantic
(iNvestor – Denier – Idealist)
Personality Profile Overview
The Hopeful Romantic is somewhat old fashioned. She daydreams about her Knight in Shining Armor sweeping into her life, as well as romantic escapades, and has long-term hopes for the men with whom she gets involved.
For the Hopeful Romantic, the potential of a long-term relationship is the foundation upon which everything else lies. It’s not that she needs a boyfriend or husband–those are simply socially-construed titles. This is where men often run into trouble, because they are insincere or players. While it’s okay to see other women when you meet a Hopeful Romantic, if you lie about it or try to deceive her, she will lose all hope of a future with you, because to her, relationships–whether platonic, romantic, or somewhere in between, are founded in honesty.
This is something you should consider well before becoming involved with the Hopeful Romantic, because it can be daunting to tell such a sentimental and feminine woman that you have no inclination to settle down or stop playing the field. Indeed, it is better to pass by the Hopeful Romantic altogether if you do intend to remain a “free bird”.
4) The Cinderella
(iNvestor – Justifier – Idealist)
Personality Profile Overview
What’s interesting about a Cinderella is that she is likely exceptionally beautiful and dresses in a way that is sexy and revealing, but always classy and mature. She is a head-turner, and knows what she is doing. She tries to be as attractive as possible and is always on the look-out for a terrific guy; that is, if she is still single.
What is ironic about the Cinderella is that it is assumed she already has a boyfriend because of her exceptional beauty, sensual fashion style and extreme feminine energy, but the Cinderella is often the victim of repeated heartbreak because she wears her heart on her sleeve and lives in a world of hopes and ideals. The Cinderella is vulnerable, sleeping with a guy simply if she is attracted to him, as it makes perfect sense in her mind to sleep with a man once she feels sure he is not simply going to kiss and walk out the door. She is very passionate and often, it is her passion gets her into trouble, because she is prone to your sweet talk and lets her guard down too quickly because her emotions cloud her need to sort and pick the best man for her in life.
Therefore, if you can demonstrate your long-term potential and know how to arouse a woman sexually, you may likely do well with the Cinderella. But, if you are timid, sexually, or appear dishonest about liking her as a person first, she will cut her losses and leave you fast because the Cinderella needs passion and hope for her future.
5) The Private Dancer
(Tester – Denier – Realist)
Personality Profile Overview
Private Dancers have two sides to their personalities: There’s a mysterious-yet-innocent exterior and the passionate, sensitive interior. While many guys may be intrigued by her sensual exterior, only a select few men may be invited in and glimpse her hidden interior. This is because she is a giving person and protects her heart from others.
When a man is special to her, she gives him her all to contribute to his life and keep him happy. She needs this role in order for her to feel satisfied in her relationships. It is this reason she is very selective about who she deems worthy of sharing intimacy with her.
The Private Dancer is an extreme iNvestor, in that she also protects herself as does a Tester. Somehow, the Private Dancer feels (either consciously or subconsciously) scared of her tendency to get attached to a man too quickly so she has learned she must test the waters and dabble with different men, not unlike the men who love and leave different women.
If you become intimate with a Private Dancer, you’ll find her extremely giving, sexually. Remember, it’s her nature to help and contribute so, if your relationship hasn’t yet become serious, she will feel a need to give, by cooking or helping you in some other domesticated manner, for this is her Realist nature–to nurture you in concrete ways.
Another aspect of the Private Dancer is that she is practical-minded and keeps a lid on her emotions most of the time. She is not overly sentimental but expects you to reciprocate the care she gives you, so don’t ever take her for granted! Though she may seem cool and aloof, which frustrates guys who fall for her and want something more serious and long term, you must remember, she will always be a great casual lover and long-time friend.
6) The Seductress
(Tester – Justifier – Realist)
Personality Profile Overview
The Seductress is combination Tester, Justifier and Realist, which makes her very confident, sexual, strong, and liberated. She is a diva in the sense that she is level-headed, and has a strong presence that intimidates most men.
That’s good news, though, because it means you can move forward confidently. Simply understanding and knowing how to care for her is profoundly attractive to the Seductress, as she sees most men as being weak, insecure and needy.
However, the Seductress is very career-focused, and doesn’t have time to coddle egos. She isn’t the type of woman who can be won back once she has moved on; she hasn’t time. Indeed, the Seductress is crazy-busy, always has a lot going—a full plate, if you will—and, she demands a lot of herself—and you. She isn’t cold-hearted, but if you get upset by her schedule and interruptions, appear at all nervous when conversing with her, or demand more than she has to offer, like most men, the Seductress will cut her losses and simply move forward without you.
It isn’t that you need to be overly-confident or a stud in bed; rather, you need to be self-assured, flexible, secure in your own skin, and readily admit you have flaws. Rather than bringing your list of moves to the bedroom, take time to explore with and enjoy the Seductress’s moves, for she enjoys taking the lead and teaching the less-experienced lover exactly how to please her.
So, if you can keep your cool, not be emotionally “needy”, and take care of her needs, both in and out of the sack, she will be one of the “all-time greats” in your Little Black Book.
7) The Connoisseur
(iNvestor – Denier – Realist)
Personality Profile Overview
The Connoisseur has an interesting contrast to her personality because she is extremely picky with a very practical, cautious approach to dating. Now, while this may be a challenge to most guys, any difficulty posed by the Connoisseur is outweighed by her susceptibility to see your sex as a reward for her non-sexual effort.
The Connoisseur is a giver, just like the other Denier/Realists, and sees her time with you as a gift that she won’t give away to just anyone. No, you must be special, because as a Denier, sex is special and sacred, as compared to a Justifier, who considers sex as nothing more than for fun and immediate gratification.
But, where the Connoisseur differs from the Private Dancer is that, as an iNvestor, she is inclined to work on her relationship with you, contributing heavily to your relationship, emotionally and otherwise. Now, this is great–if you want the Connoisseur to be your girlfriend, because she will be devoted, caring, and make real contributions to your life.
While some woman are great in bed but incompetent in other tasks, such as following driving directions, cooking, or operating a computer, a Connoisseur is capable, competent, and usually a fine chef (or, at least, she has the potential to be one).
The challenge in being with a Connoisseur is that once she lets down her guard and you begin having an intimate, sexual relationship, she, like all normal, well-adjusted people (men and women alike), will get very attached, a common trait in both iNvestor/Denier types.
The good news is that her Realist side understands that getting too clingy will likely create distance between the two of you so she doesn’t fool herself when it comes to men, knowing that he needs some freedom, if she can control her desire to attach herself long term, you will see her innate overall value in short time.
The Connoisseur doesn’t like to chase men; rather, she enjoys being pursued and swept off her feet (ND). Because she is a Denier, sex is sacred and carries emotional weight, so if you choose to invest yourself and develop a lasting relationship with a Connoisseur, she, too, will feel much closer and engaged with you because sex equates to emotional connection, and that’s what the Connoisseur desires most in her life-long relationship with you.
8 ) The Modern Woman
(iNvestor – Justifier – Realist)
Personality Profile Overview
The Modern Woman is a cool chick. She is independent, probably has a good job or has ambitious goals, and takes dating with a grain of salt. She is not cynical, enjoys men, but doesn’t get overly serious unless she feels there’s a reason to be so. Essentially, she has a very healthy, real-world approach to dealing with men.
It is her hope, one day, to meet a guy for a long-term relationship. And, though she may have a boyfriend currently, she is comfortable with casual fun. This is good news for you because, not being exclusive, she is therefore willing to try someone new, at least for a little while.
However, remember that, because she is an iNvestor, if she likes you, she will want to focus solely on you and develop your relationship. If she’s sexually unsatisfied, she will also be very open to giving you a chance to change that. If she is satisfied, but not exclusively committed to someone special, she will be open to dating you to see if there’s more chemistry than what she currently has.
The Modern Woman may sound too good to be true because not only is she level-headed, rational, sexual, and slightly promiscuous, it is our opinion that the Modern Woman is relatively common. It appears more women are thinking this way these days–especially those women in their mid-to-late twenties with some dating experience under their belts. Indeed, as of the year 2010, almost all women have a little Modern Woman in them.
The Three Conflicts
1. Time: Women are programmed to mate with the most dominant and high-status men. They want to screen men to find the best possible prospect, but society disapproves of women who stay single too long. This conflict produces cougars who aggressively pursue men as they get older. They’re moving fast because time is running out. Men, on the other hand, get more comfortable with age. Status increases, dominance is higher and, with Viagra, they can reproduce into their 80′s.
2. Sex: Women want sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy, but traumatic experiences have taught them to be careful. This kind of girl can be very affectionate but, at the last minute, she gets scared and throws up a wall. Men are different. If anything, having sex increases our status.
3. Relationship: Biology compels women to be supportive and nurturing, but at the same time they’re driven to achievement in case no man is there to provide. Successful women will often quit work to focus on home and family, while men are driven to work harder because now there’s a family to feed.
Resolving these conflicts involves balancing biological instincts with societal pressures. How a woman resolves her conflicts and the strategies she uses determine both her language and her personality.
Women speak a very different language than men. That’s why it sometimes seems impossible to understand what she’s really saying or to understand her behavior. But if you understand the mind of the girl in front of you, you can decode her language to understand what she really means and where she’s really coming from. And almost all of this female-language stems from the three core conflicts. Understand the conflicts that are happening inside of her and suddenly you can understand what a girl is ACTUALLY trying to say. And better communication leads to better attraction and a better chance of actually sleeping with a girl or making her your girlfriend.
The second step is obviously, when you know a woman’s strategies, conflicts, and personality, to align yourself with her personality (or her “type” as laid out in the “8 Types of Women”).
And that’s pretty much it. You start behaving in a way that she’s looking for already and suddenly, where you used to be invisible, you’re the most interesting and attractive man that she’s met in a LONG TIME. And in that regard, Pandora’s Box is pretty much unique. I haven’t seen anything else out there that actually tries to find out what type of girl you’re dealing with before you try to seduce her or pick her up or whatever. Which, if you think about it, is kind of shocking.
The strategies that are the best at seducing her depend ENTIRELY on the strategies she has chosen for herself to deal with the conflicts inside of herself and with the world. If you use the wrong strategies (like trying to act cocky/funny to a girl that’s wired at the moment for safe, comfortable relationships) , you’ll get undesirable results. What works for one woman doesn’t necessarily work for another. And I think most of us have had to learn this the hard way.